There is not a right or wrong way to grieve the loss of someone you love. “Moving on Doesn’t Mean Letting Go: A modern guide to navigating loss” by Gina Moffa is an excellent guide not only for a reader who needs support with grief, but also for people who want to help a loved one with their loss.
“There is no escaping or outrunning loss in our lives, individually nor collectively. Your job isn’t to conform to some imaginary timeline, to progress through your grief like it’s a couch-to-5K,” writes Moffa.
Throughout Moffa’s book on grief are gold nuggets of wisdom that can be referred time and again. Instead of the five stages of grief that seem to offer a beginning and end point, Moffa suggests that the healing process isn’t like a Netflix series you can binge your way through. In her sharing of her own loss, Moffa discovers the six rules of grief:
- It lasts for as long as it lasts.
- You don’t need good reasons to prioritize your feelings and needs.
- You can grieve in your own way without justifying it.
- You deserve support for as long as you need and/or want it.
- You don’t owe anyone anything (my personal favorite).
- There are no expectations that you need to live up to in your grief.
Another section I found valuable includes the Grief Hall of Fame with offending platitudes that people may say that often miss the mark such as “They’re in a better place” or “It was their time.” Truly how many times have you wanted to cry, scream, or be quietly numb and someone told you to cheer up or smile— so you faked it and did what they wanted?”
Moffa recommends instead of offering hollow platitudes that we just show up as our authentic selves. We can check on our friends who have lost a loved one and offer comfort. While no book can substitute for one-on-one therapy or specialized grief support, Moffa wants the pages to “become a safe space for you— just you and me in this vault with no judgment, no secrets, and no societal or ancestral rules, a space to come closer to our truest selves and gather tools for healing wounds, old and new, one step at a time.”
Pick up your copy of Moving on Doesn’t Mean Letting Go today. After nearly two decades of clinical experience and her own journey after losing her mother to cancer, Gina Moffa, LCSW offers knows all too well how disorienting, painful, and lonely grief can be.
In Moving on Doesn’t Mean Letting Go, she offers a heartfelt, practical map through loss—one that can shift the pain of your grief even when things feel unpredictable and overwhelming.
About the Author Gina Moffa, LCSW: She is a licensed clinical social worker in private practice in New York City. In the field for 17 years, Moffa has helped thousands of people seeking treatment for grief and trauma. This includes work with Holocaust survivors at 92Y, an international non-profit, as well as being a clinical director for Mt. Sinai Hospital Outpatient Program specializing in addictions. She received her master’s degree in social work with a specialty in trauma from New York University.
Moffa maintains a full private practice on the upper west side of Manhattan. The majority of her practice consists of people seeking support and guidance for a major loss in their life, whether through death, divorce, or an unwanted life transition. One of Moffa’s clinical passions is helping people to navigate their healing from loss and grief in a way that empowers them to find a new sense of fearlessness, understanding, and meaning in the face of unpredictable grief.
FRS Communications 