Jefferson Fisher’s book “The Next Conversation” offers solid strategies and tips on ways to argue less and talk more. Jefferson reminds us that our words have ripple effects and offers tips on how powerful a pause can be before you respond.
It’s important to set goals for conversation. Don’t think of the conversation as a win or lose situation. “Winning means that you’ve likely lost something far more valuable – their trust, their respect, or worse, the connection. They only thing you’ve won is their contempt.”
The next step is to set values for a conversation. The overall aim is to connect, share, and grow stronger relationships. Jefferson highlighted his values and I think these two are good ones:
- Where there is room for kindness, I will use it.
- If I can’t be bridge, I’ll be a lighthouse.
If the conversation still becomes heated, you can take a break by breathing. “A well-timed pause credits you with the power of time. Time to reflect, time to reconsider, and time to regulate. Words that come after a deliberate choice of silence have more impact because they indicate that what follows has been measured, adding weight to the meaning. It’s like using the brakes on a car, controlling the speed of the interactions lets you safely steer it toward a more constructive outcome.”
Jefferson offers great examples for how to open difficult conversations and encourages a beginning that is direct and transparent. For bad news, you can try:
- “This is going to be hard to hear.”
- “I’ve got bad news.”
For sensitive topics, try:
- “This isn’t going to be fun for either of us.”
- “This isn’t going to be easy to talk about.”
Before your next conversation, consider reading Jefferson’s book first and follow him on Instagram for daily tips.
About Jefferson: Jefferson Fisher is a trial lawyer, writer, and speaker who helps people communicate during life’s everyday arguments and conversations. With his practical videos and authentic presence, Fisher has gained millions of followers around the world, including celebrities and global leaders. He is a sought-after speaker on communication at Fortune 500 companies and governmental agencies, and hundreds of thousands of people subscribe to his actionable email newsletter and podcast. Fisher is a Texas board-certified personal injury attorney and the founder of Fisher Firm, where he helps people all over the United States connect to trusted legal services.
FRS Communications 